Preparation Season

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you.” — 1 Peter 5:6

You’re not behind.

I know it can feel that way.

I was thirty-three when I got married. By then, many of my family members and friends were already married. Some had children. And there I was—still single, no husband, no children.

At times, I felt behind.

I wondered when it would finally be my turn.

And if I’m being completely transparent, there were moments when some foolish thoughts crossed my mind.

Maybe if I give in sexually, he’ll stick around longer.

And if he sticks around longer, maybe that will lead to a proposal.

Then marriage.

Thankfully, I quickly realized how flawed that thinking was.

Sex cannot secure commitment.

Compromise cannot guarantee marriage.

And giving someone access to your body will never guarantee that they will give you the future you desire.

I didn’t need to abandon my convictions to speed things up.

I needed to trust God.

1 Peter 5:6 tells us to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God and trust Him with the proper time.

That requires something many of us struggle with:

Surrendering our timeline.

We have an age in mind.

A schedule.

A picture of what life was supposed to look like by now.

Married by this age.

Children by that age.

House by this age.

Career established by then.

And when life doesn’t follow our carefully constructed timeline, we can begin to feel like something has gone wrong.

But being later than someone else does not automatically mean you are behind.

Looking back, I can see ways that time changed me.

I matured.

I learned more about myself.

I began understanding my worth and the value Christ places on me.

And that only-child syndrome buried deep inside of me?

Yeah. That needed some work too. 

When I look back now, I can recognize that I was not ready for some of the responsibilities I wanted so badly at an earlier age.

Time was doing something in me.

God was doing something in me.

Now, I cannot tell you that every season of singleness means God is preparing you for a husband or wife. Scripture does not promise marriage to everyone.

But I can tell you this:

No season surrendered to God has to be wasted.

He can use this season to mature you.

Strengthen your relationship with Him.

Teach you contentment.

Reveal unhealthy patterns.

Build your confidence in who you are in Christ.

Teach you boundaries.

Develop self-control.

And show you that your value was never dependent upon someone choosing you.

So please don’t give up your commitment to abstinence because you feel like life needs to move along a little faster.

Don’t compromise because another birthday passed.

Don’t lower your standards because somebody else got married.

Don’t give someone access to you because you’re afraid saying no will make them leave.

Stay committed to Christ.

Trust His timing.

Let Him work in you while you WAIT.

You may look around and think everyone else is moving ahead while you are standing still.

But standing still and being stuck are not always the same thing.

Sometimes, God is doing some of His deepest work where nobody else can see it.

You’re not behind.

This may be your preparation season.

And whatever God is doing in you during this season, let Him finish the work.