Say What?

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.” — 1 Thessalonians 4:3 ESV

When I decided to abstain from sex, the responses I received from men were, let’s just say, interesting.

I was always upfront about my decision when I went on dates, and usually one of two things happened: the men would stop calling, or they would continue trying to convince me to have sex with them.

The craziest response I received was from a man who told me I had “too much butt” not to let someone try it out.

Say what?

He spoke about my body as if I were a car sitting on a dealership lot, ready to be test-driven by anyone who showed interest. It was disrespectful, but it also reminded me why I needed boundaries. Anyone who could not respect my decision did not deserve access to me.

Despite the loneliness, pressure, and inappropriate comments, I was determined to keep the promise I had made to Jesus.

And it was a struggle.

Physically, yes—but even more so mentally. I started wondering whether I would ever meet someone who was willing to wait with me. I questioned whether my standards would leave me alone. There were moments when compromising seemed easier than continuing to stand firm.

But God gave me strength I did not know I had.

The Bible says, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” — Galatians 5:16 ESV

I learned that abstinence was not something I could successfully do through willpower alone. I needed the Holy Spirit to help me control my thoughts, manage my desires, and remember why I had made the decision in the first place.

Once I stopped focusing so much on whether a man would accept my boundaries and started focusing on Jesus, my mindset changed.

I began enjoying my relationship with Him in a deeper way. I also learned more about myself. I had time to figure out what I truly wanted, what I would no longer tolerate, and what kind of relationship would honor God.

Abstinence allowed me to get to know people without sex clouding my judgment. I could pay attention to their character, their intentions, their consistency, and whether they genuinely respected me. Without the distraction of physical intimacy, I could see situations more clearly.

God’s Word reminds us, “Flee from sexual immorality… You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” — 1 Corinthians 6:18–20 ESV

Your body is not a product to be sampled, tested, or used. You belong to God, and your decision to honor Him is worthy of respect.

So, I want to encourage you to keep the promise you have made—or consider beginning that promise today.

Some people may walk away. Others may attempt to pressure you, mock you, or make you question whether your decision is worth it. But anyone who refuses to respect your boundaries is revealing that they are not prepared to honor you.

It will not always be easy, but it will be worth it.

You will never regret choosing obedience, protecting your peace, and allowing God to transform your mind, your desires, and your relationships.

Keep going. God will give you the strength to remain faithful, one decision at a time.

I’m praying for you!